Au Naturale is my “Natural”

Swimmers are almost always half-naked. We train in thin one-pieces, tiny speedos, or jammers. Either way, the males are shirtless and the females are barely any more conservative. My mom would always joke about how she refused to look any lower than someone’s eye level during meets because there were always cracks on display. She knew what it was like to be a swimmer though so it didn’t actually bother her.

I didn’t realize how different I became after a few years of swimming until I was in a locker room one day with some non-swimmers. I came in after my shower and dropped my suit without covering up with my towel first. I will never forget the responses I got. ‘Oh geez, she’s comfortable with herself’ was the general exclamation one of the girls made. I looked around the locker room for someone checking themselves out in the mirror but only saw girls looking away from me. Oh… they’re talking about me I thought as I slipped on my undergarments. “Sorry, I’m used to changing in front of my swim team so I wasn’t thinking,” I told the girls. I forgot that the norm is often covering up and hiding private parts from strangers because of the attitudes my team displayed. We had higher priorities over being modest, like struggling to get clothes on while wet and hurrying to go get breakfast before school.

The funny thing is, I used to be one of the more shy girls on our team. I grew out of that as I realized that everyone saw me basically naked in my swimsuit so I had hardly anything else to show. It was like some unspoken rule, you just learn how to be comfortable around people in very little clothing- including the opposite sex.

My friends would come to my swim meets and swoon over the boys I had categorized in my own mind as nothing more than teammates. They would say ‘wow, that guy’s muscles are insane’ and I could only think if you say so, he still can’t finish an entire practice. Because of my “cool” around the opposite sex and in the locker rooms, people often thought I was more confident than I was.

I should be proud of my body though, it’s the one I have put a lot of time and energy into shaping. I can always improve but I am an athlete and my body helps me reach my goals. Perhaps in the future, I can be a bit more mindful of my surroundings in the locker rooms.

What can I say, au naturale became closer to my “natural” way.